My name is benreedjohnson. i grew up a twin. yup, i have a twin sister.my twin and i sometimes, when i tell people that i have a twin sister, and they have never seen her, thay ask if we are identical (keep in mind, i am a guy). what a dumb question. if you cant figure it out then you need a lesson in some simple biology. i dont have any superior powers because i am a twin, yet i sometimes wish i did. i cant read minds (not even my twins) and i cant hit a homer every at bat. i am normal, just like you. well, i am color blind, and have bad vision, but other than that, i am normal.
so where was i? ah, yes, growing up. i got a little brother. i used to make him mad by calling him fat. he wasnt really fat, he just had a big head, a little like charlie brown.(see picture) we would get along fine until he did something stupid. then i would pound on him. most of these fights resulted in him getting into earthquake position and so the only spot i could hit him was on the back. my mom used to try to scare me by saying i would paralyze him, but when your 6-15 years old and your brother pesters you, you do want to paralyze him, so it didnt work. our fights would sometimes result in fists flying. i gave him a good share of fat lips and a couple black eyes. one time in the back of one of my dads uncles car he elbowed me in the jaw. i squarly reacted by punching him in the face. these types of fights went on for several years until the "tape incident." here i was minding my own business in our room (we shared from day one) wrapping christmas presents. I had a monopoly on the tape and he wanted to wrap some presents too. i was 15. he kept taking the darn tape across the room to wrap his presents. my tape! i was so irate, so the next time he took it i went berzerk. forgive my french, but i was pissed.
"im sick of this!" i yelled. fists balled up tight and i went at him like a thunder cloud on crack. he pulled immediately into his self defense earthquake drill position. if there was an earthquake in our house that day, he would have been the only one to survive. he balled up so tight i felt like i was hitting cement. i pounded until sweat dripped off my nose. i covered every square inch of his body. i was making up for the fact that i couldnt get to his face by pounding longer and harder than i ever have before in my life. when i was satiated with my animalistic beating i quietly took the tape and resumed my peaceful package wrapping. i have always wondered what was going through his head while i quietly wrapped my presents with the tape. i remember placing a strip of scotch on my last present. i heard a rush of air and looked up, only to be struck with the most solid thing that has hit me up to that point in my life. (train story) there had been sitting in our room for three weeks a large board. i dont remeber what it went to but it was like a shelf from a bookcase. not just an average bookcase, a solidly built one. this board was solid oak, 3/4" thick, a foot deep, and as long as your leg, unless your a midget. i think fate made that board sit in our room for so long. that whoosh of air was that slab of wood rushing down in a golf swing pattern to connect with the side of my head. it lifted me up off the ground (literally) and threw me three feet. this is an estimate, i was wrapping presents about 4 feet away from my bed and when i came to my head was next to my bed. i looked up and saw my brother petrified holding the board in his hands like he just crapped his pants at a girls slumber party. there was a slight pause as the fuzziness in my head faded. my brother seeing i was coming to and also realizing i would probably be even more wrathe than before (like shooting a charging grizzly in the shoulder)(when i say grizzly bear, it is in no way comparing myself to a grizzly bear, i'm far from it, it's just a metaphor) crawled over to the foot of his bed and got into earthquake mode. i hadn't even gotten up yet. this next beating only lasted a couple of minutes. i couldnt believe what had happened and i still cant fully fathom it today. i had a black eye and a bruise on the side of my head for a week and we have never fought since. my brother over the course of the years grew bigger than me mostly because of his dedication to weight lifting. he got to the point of being able to beat up everyone i knew. even if it was him against all of them at once. and believe me I know alot of people, he is strong. he even passed his genes on to his first kid, a girl, who weighed in at 10lbs 2oz.
the end.

i guess thats a taste of what to expect here in the 'my family' section. please check out more below. more fights and other silly stories of the johnsons
i think the best thing to do is to go through your grandparents photos and check out old pictures of your parents. i found one such photo (that i think is priceless) of my dad.


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